Like only he can, Jon Stewart gets down to the heart of the Miss “Anti-Gay Marriage” California controversial.

Who is the Douchebag of the Year? From Business: Bernie Madoff or AIG? Politics: Limbaugh or Blagojevich? Sports: A-Rod or Bonds? Entertainment: Chris Brown or Octo-Mom? Vote Now!

During the Oscars, Ben Stiller announced his retirement from being “the funny guy” and has apparently taken a job working at an “Hasidic meth lab.” Oh, no, wait… he’s just mocking our beloved Joaaaaaaquin Phoenix.

What happens when you shoot up heroin and decide to do a Letterman interview? Watch the drugged out interview(s) and see him fall off stage while pretending to be a rapper. Joaquin Phoenix has either become a comedian or is Hollywood’s newest train wreck.

Onion News panelists debate whether TV programs like A Double Shot At Love and The Bad Girls Club depict unattainable levels of skankiness. Check out the Reality Skanks in action and cast your vote in the Skankiest Reality Show Poll.

Drinking and driving, bong hits, Vegas strippers… as American as Thanksgiving dinner!